healthy hearts dont stop or skip beats
by dandelionsanddaisies
Summary: My heart stopped. My heart literally stopped. Okay, so maybe it didn't stop stop but it most definitely skipped a beat and no, I do not need Rei to give me a lecture on how healthy hearts don't stop or skip beats because I know. I do. Honestly. But damn.


My heart stopped. My heart literally stopped. Okay, so maybe it didn't _stop_ stop but it most definitely skipped a beat and no, I do not need Rei to give me a lecture on how healthy hearts don't stop or skip beats because I know. I do. Honestly.

But damn.

I haven't been back here since summer, and that's what, four months ago? Back for Christmas break and I'm sitting in Haru's living room with everyone, and I'm making damn sure that Haru's been training hard and heard about how Rei's doing at that school he got a scholarship to and amazingly somehow (though without the scholarship) Nagisa got into the same school.

And then there's Makoto.

He's at community college and apparently he's doing just great, but I'm not exactly thinking about that right now.

It's not that I've not been in to girls, because I have. And it's not that I've not been in to guys either, because I have. And am. Right now.

I've only been gone for four months so can someone please tell me just _how_ Makoto managed a transformation that makes him look so different and yet just so Makoto?

Because I've literally lost the train of conversation and Rei is looking at me funny and I think I should probably say something but fuck I can't remember what he was talking about.

So I kind of awkwardly ask him to repeat the question and as it turns out he was asking me how I'm doing over in Australia and now I feel like a dick.

So I ramble on about the training and how Haru better be training as hard as I am, and Nagisa asks me about the spiders and things like that but it's hardly news to me because I've been there for so many years of my life.

And the conversation falls into a lull and Makoto offers to get us some drinks so I follow him because really, he won't be able to carry five glasses (though then again, neither can I).

'So what's up with the new look then?' I ask him lightly as we wander into Haru's kitchen.

He laughs and rubs a hand on the back of his neck. 'I'm just trying it out.' He assures me and I'd try to subtly give him a once over but since we're talking about it it's got to be acceptable, right?

So I let my eyes trail over him and I'm pretty sure I'm biting my lip but he isn't looking at me in a strange way or anything so I think I'm good.

He's wearing a navy shirt and black skinny jeans, and so seeing Makoto dressed in dark colours is a change. His hair's grown a little and I can now see something I'd somehow managed to miss before which are two little black studs in the lobe of his ears and _fuck._

 _He looks good._

'Looks good.' I offer with a smile, and he grins back.

'Eh, I'm giving it a test run.'

 _Doesn't he realise how freaking good he looks?_

I've seen Makoto Tachibana in various states of undress before (what? We swim, don't we?) but I have never wanted to more than now, not that I have before of course.

I'm only just realising where my thoughts are going and that I _should_ be helping Makoto with drinks and I _should not_ be thinking about him minus a lot of his clothes. Or all of them.

No, no, no, let's not go there.

I mean, everyone here's pretty attractive (including myself, of course) but I've never really... That is to say that I've never lusted after someone. Okay, I don't want to say that, because I'm _not_ lusting after Makoto, jeez I've barely been back five minutes.

I'm just appreciating his aesthetic on a completely platonic level.

Yep. That's it.

So we're carrying drinks in now and I'm still 'appreciating' him and his jeans are low slung, with a belt done up too loosely and he's got matching socks on for a change (black; Makoto's always been a red and green, or a blue and yellow kind of guy) and if I didn't know better I'd say he was going for some sort of emo look and all he'd need would be to dye his hair black and he'd have it perfectly.

But Makoto's not like that at all, he probably just wanted a bit of contrast and decided to change a couple of things up.

As long as he doesn't get any tattoos then he's good (though thinking about it those would probably be freaking hot).

'Are you okay, Rin? You look flushed.' Rei asks me with a concerned look as we carry the bottles of soda and cups in and I can feel my eyes widen a little.

'I'm fine, I'll just take my jacket off.' I say easily and remove it, feeling a little warm after all.

'It's December, why are you cold?' Haru asks me and I shrug, not really having a reason and hell, why would I? If I was actually hot and not just thinking inappropriate things about my friend?

I mean... Not that I'm...

Who am I kidding, I am, but that's not the point.

...Right?

The night goes on and we only drink soda because Rei and Nagisa aren't legal yet and the lovely friends that we are decide not to drink without them.

I'm kind of grateful for that though, because regrettably I can be a kind of overly touchy-feely person when I'm drunk, just kind of all over people, in a platonic way I mean... But Haru usually receives the brunt of that, if ever he's out with us because he lets me.

He just can't resist me, huh? Nah, not really, it's just that we're kind of at the point in our friendship where anything goes, I mean he could probably kiss me and it'd be cool.

Not that he would, obviously, being Haru and all.

But I'm in a happier mood when we all leave, and then Makoto turns left to go home and I part ways with Rei and Nagisa because they live close together and I live in the opposite direction to them.

I really, really shouldn't be thinking about Makoto like this. Like, there's a hundred reasons why that's a bad, _bad_ idea but I kind of can't help myself.

Is it shallow of me to only have ever thought about him in a different way after seeing him in different attire that makes him hotter? Probably.

Like I care. He's my friend, so it's not like I don't like him as a person, it's just that now I kind of want him to fuck my brains out.

Okay. That's something that hadn't actually properly come into my head until now because I'd just kind of been in awe over how different he looked and yet so the same and how hot he was and I hadn't actually gotten as far as getting myself involved but thinking about it...

Okay, so there's a _million_ reasons as to why this is a bad, _bad_ idea.

* * *

 **comments are greatly appreciated!**

 **also whether i should continue or not bc i wrote this like a year ago but i think its kinda funny and i have a rough plot eh so if you like it then lmk and we shall see**


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